my kids shall be spared from the ridicule…

May 9, 2011 § Leave a comment

i love TIME. i used to think of it as this dodgy, dense collection of unnavigatable innavigable politics, economics, and all things obscure but adult-approved. but after following it on twitter for the past few months, it has proven to be a great source of information and entertainment. how TIMEs change. i am particularly besotted with its TOP TENs, those list-ish things that you read for secret pleasure under the pretext of gaining knowledge.

today TIME did a story on the TOP TEN WACKY CELEBRITY BABY NAMES. i mean, how can you not read it? even when there remains a formidable bunch of marketing concepts to iron out. (just finished my essay on ‘are brands dead?’ – will post it here after i complete the necessary editing) so i clicked on the link, panting enthusiastically like a puppy. sure enough no Honor Maries (J Alba’s), Zaharas and Shilohs (A Jolie’s), but lo and behold – there are indeed wackier things out there. i found this one particularly mind-blowing:

Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen (daughter of Frank Zappa, one of those forgettable American music all-rounders)

So this is what TIME said about the name:

When everyone talks about the kooky names of Frank Zappa’s kids, they always go with Moon Unit. Or maybe Dweezil. That’s understandable. But Zappa’s youngest daughter is named Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen. That’s, respectively, a light insult, a description, a food and a misspelling of the word pigeon. Of course, it’s likely that no one ever calls her by her full name, in which case Diva Zappa is actually quite cute in its rhymingness.

such an incisive analysis of a name deserves a sustained 10-min round of applause, yes? let’s see, how exactly does frank zappa look like? could that provide clues/justifications for the ‘kooky names’ that he scribbles on his kids’ birth certificates?

Ello! my name is frank zappa. frankly, i might zap you with my guitar, if you have issues with my hair. (or beard.)

 ok i will leave you to wade through the rest of the wacky names here.

(interesting phenomenon – since when do i write my blog with a hypothetical audience in mind? what happened to my emo posts laced with deep dark reflections? i must be getting kooky myself. oh dear.)


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